Saturday, September 13, 2008

One week countdown is on!!!

Let me start by saying - "Aaaagggghghhhhh!!!"

I am so fed up with egg whites, chicken and egg whites. I am desperate for something with substance. I feel sorry for myself posting any of my food because it is so bland. I jazz up my eating by changing the room I am eating in! How sad is that???

Okay readers, we all knew it was going to be tough the last week, and I am on track for that. Last night I went to bed at 8:00 pm. Just like a little baby. But I had a great sleep and of course woke up ravenous.

So here are the vittels for the last two days: (I ate the same on both days)

Breakfast: 2/3 cup large flake oatmeal cooked with water, 2 TBsp bee pollen, 2 TBSP flax seed
6 ounces wheat grass in 500 ml water
6 egg whites
black coffee
500 ml water

Mid Morning:
5 ounces white fish
1 cup steamed green beans
500 ml water
green tea

1/2 sweet potato
5 ounces white fish
1/2 cup green beans
1/2 cup asparagus
500 ml water

Mid Afternoon:
2 melba toasts
1 small apple
5 ounces grilled chicken
500 ml water

1 cup cooked spinach
6 ounces poached chicken breast
1/2 cup brown rice
1 small raw tomato

Before Bed: Food is now history!
I drink about 500 ml water with a calcium/magnesium supplement.

It has been a horrific week emotionally. Not only am I exhausted but emotionally drained. Leaving Rachel in Portland feels like I got punched in the stomach. As the plane rose in the air I saw Mt. Hood (which can be clearly seen from Rachel's apartment) becoming smaller in the distance and I decided right there that I hated Mt. Hood. I wondered why she had to go. Why I had to go. And then the breakdown that had not yet happened, happened. I cried for 2 hours. I am sure my seatmates thought someone in my family had died, I was crying so hard. Finally I fell asleep and then, as human nature would have it, a kind hand touched mine and asked if I was okay. That was the woman in seat 19D. She turned out to be an angel and let me talk out how I was feeling. Even the guy sitting between us piped in and shared some of his own difficult times. Those last three hours on the plane were not so bad and I thank 19D and 19F for their kindness.

Anyway I have been ridiculously tired and emotionally worn out. I will try to remember that everyone is healthy and well and that this is not the end of the world but ....

Got to go and train legs now.
Thinking of you all ...
Hope you will think of me too!


VeggieGirl said...

So exciting that it's just ONE WEEK away!! :0)

Hang in there, Tosca!!

Nancyr said...

awe now I am going to cry! HUGS Tosca

lisa said...

So glad there were angels there to comfort you. I can tell that you are a wonderful mom. You are also, a great inspiration to many. I hope you find strength in that, as you prepare and compete. I am cheering for you.

Anonymous said...

I'm thinking about you everyday...hang on there for the girls in their 40's like me.

You are an me, you are!

I can wait to see the pictures..all the hard work..You must in great shape

And mommy, that is why your girls are so well educated, strong and independant and so beautifle...All because of proud, you did a good job!!


RealDivaUnderneath said...

I have kept from posting a comment until today. I can imagine how you feel. We have a son that will graduate this year, and I already feel sorry for myself. Just remember that this is what you did all that hard work for, so that she would be capable enough to spread her wings one day! You've obviously done a great job!
(*side-note... low carbs don't help your state of mind! LOL!! Blame it partially on that! :-P)

Anonymous said...

hang in there Tosca!!!! All your hard work will soon pay off!Thanks for your daily eating schedule. It helps to hear what u are eating on a daily basis. When this is all done go eat your PEANUT BUTTER and CHOCLATE you deserve it !!! Love u girl KIm -MIchigan

Stef said...

I always feel better after the big "breakdown" cry. Letting it all out is helpful in the long run. And that was nice of your nearby passingers to offer support!

One week out....AWESOME!


Anonymous said...

Just bought tickets to see the pre-judging show. Prior commitments have kept me from seeing the evening show.
Can't wait to see you! I will be cheering you on.

Anonymous said...

I have my 20 year old DS a 9 hours drive's heartbreaking at times.. Remember you are under a lot of pressure right now, and It's only human to feel the way you do.

On the other side; I wonder how many sisters in iron out there are cheering you on!? You go girl!!!

- stay strong!

pachild01 said...

my youngest son witnessed his brother die after being hit by a tree limb in Houston due to hurricane Ike. I am hundreds of miles away from him and devastated by this tragic accident. I cant even fly to him, due to canceled flights and the mess in Houston
I too am preparing for a competition and hardly feel like eating, much less chicken and eggs. I am staying on track, by when you are so emotionally drained, it is all you can do to focus and stay on track. I am praying for you, please pray for my family, especially my children who have lost the half brother this weekend.

juliemac said...

I came on to give Tosca some feedback, but couldn't help being torn by the previous entry. I'm so sorry for your family's loss and sorry still that you can't get down there! On the heels of my 41st birthday, I'm proud of you for sticking out the competition and even prouder for the emotional stuff that comes along w/ being a mom, wife and woman! God Speed and warmest thoughts and prayers!

Anonymous said...

Awww Tosca you have raised a strong bunch of independent women havent you!?! What is she doing in Portland again?

You are amazing, I would rather die than eat that many egg whites :) Thats why I love you and your stories so much, I can live through you :) are going to rock the house!!! I cant wait to hear all about it (one of the fellow forum girls is going to watch you too so I can hear from you and her!)

Hang in there, only one more week and you can eat food again :)

Anonymous said...


Push "ego" out of the way and focus on spirit and being. Tosca is! I am here as a sister and I am sending you positive energy for body and being. Your love and committment to the love of your "self", health and well being, family, friends and strangers will return to you ten-fold. See you in Toronto with much love and admiration. Sue.